Josh’s battle and other good news

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It has been a stressful time. Bombs have fallen on Israel, there has been blatant anti-Semitic bias in Western media, and the LAPD is investigating a terrible attack on Jews outside a sushi restaurant in Los Angeles as a hate crime. There is the possibility of some distraction now that we can go back to eat inside, potentially go on vacation abroad and hear about Prince Harry’s latest public relations disaster (courtesy Dax Shephard podcast, where he implicated his grandmother the queen over her toxic parenting responsibilities).

These distractions don’t eliminate the real problems of the world, and it’s important to keep compassion for the downtrodden, like Duchess Meghan Markle, who is still in exile in a $ 16.4 million mansion in Montecito, Calif. , with only 16 bathrooms and nine bedrooms. Times are hard.

Also, Meghan’s son Archie didn’t get a royal title so we can run a GoFundMe campaign and buy him an honorary title on nobility.co.uk. For $ 14,000 you can buy him a title like ‘Crusader Knight Sir Knight of Jerusalem’ (seriously), although at that price it would cost almost as much as the land housing Meghan and Harry’s co-op filled with ‘ rescue chickens’. For a few more dollars – 227,000 dollars to be precise – we could buy him the name of “Baron von Rosenthal, former prince of the royal house of Reuss”. It’s low-key and will help it blend in perfectly with the nearby Santa Barbara juice bars.

On a happier note, a tiger was rescued from the streets of Texas last Sunday after escaping from someone’s home. Presumably their cat flap was not properly locked. Houston Police Department Commander Ron Borza said that “in no way, shape or form you should have an animal like this in your home,” which seems very uninclusive for wildlife. I hope someone starts a campaign to cancel it so that Texas pets can reflect the true diversity of the wilderness. Homeowners will then be able to provide a domestic home for lions, panthers and rhinos, although someone will also have to fund a lawsuit against Petco for blatantly ruling out options for deadly creatures in their lineup. of pet food. The pet store chain is also set to be canceled as even its largest cat flaps clearly discriminate against giraffes.

We can feel our hearts warm as it’s been a good week for the richest man in the world, Jeff Bezos, who is probably struggling to get to a mall without being harassed by entrepreneurs who present their plans to him. businesses to invest in, unlike most of us who can go shopping malls and enjoy anonymity, even though most of the world’s malls have collapsed due to the ubiquity of Amazon.

We can feel our hearts warm because it’s been a good week for the richest man in the world.

Earlier this month, four-year-old Noah Bryant from New York City managed to order a shipment of 51 cases of SpongeBob popsicles, for a total of $ 2,618.85. Her mother, Jennifer Bryant, a social work student at NYU, was obviously delighted that Amazon wasn’t taking back the 918 popsicles, which they couldn’t afford to pay for or buy the several freezers needed to store Noah’s popsicles. .

Jeff Bezos’ surprise windfall from the sale was well deserved since his platform is accessible enough for children under five, including Noah, who has autism. The brilliant ending to this story is that a GoFundMe countryside currently raised $ 24,843 from supporters so Jennifer can pay off student loans and other family expenses.

Despite the lightness, we must not forget the current conflicts. Arizona has seen a quasi-civil war organized by Josh Swain, a 22-year-old resident of the state. He located a Josh Swain from Nebraska, along with many others called Josh, and they fought in Nebraska to decide who would be the rightful owner of the title. “Josh.” The proceedings began peacefully with a game of rock, paper, and stone, but in war-torn Nebraska it turned into an all-out skirmish of people fighting over pool noodles.

Although illegal in parts of Nebraska, foreign mercenaries were made to wear their Storm Soldier uniforms, although they encountered their match from attendants Jedis and Spidermen. Local authorities did nothing and the US National Guard did not show up. Thankfully Josh Swain left the day with a title, which is more than what can be said about Meghan’s son Archie.


Marcus is an actor, filmmaker and business consultant

www.marcusjfreed.com

@marcusjfreed



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